I didn't think it would be so hard.

Well, he's gone.  He's actually finally gone.  I may see him this next few weeks, but I really hope not.  I don't think that I can deal with it. I'll be fine. I promise.  I just didn't expect to be so emotional at his leaving.  I mean in the past two years I haven't seen him that much.  We only hung out maybe five or six times.  But he was always there.  Just a phone call away if I ever had guy trouble.  Or girl trouble.  Or school trouble.  Or just needed to talk.  And now I don't have that.  I mean sure I can still write him.  And he'll likely write back, unlike some people.  And even if he doesn't his family will let my family know what's going on and they'll tell me.  And I don't even like like this kid anymore.  Why is it so hard to see him go?  Why do I care so much?  I just want him here so I can talk to him one last time.  One last time that isn't interupted by various Christmas Eve traditions.  Why?  Why do I feel like I did last time?  I've been through this before, I know how to deal with it.  But why is it so hard?  Why does he have to be a good young man and leave on a mission?  Not that I want or would accept anything less from him.  But still.  So I guess this is goodbye Mish.  And I know you will never read this, but I'm glad you are going, I really am.  But I'll miss you. I'll call you in two years.