I didn't think it would be so hard.

Well, he's gone.  He's actually finally gone.  I may see him this next few weeks, but I really hope not.  I don't think that I can deal with it. I'll be fine. I promise.  I just didn't expect to be so emotional at his leaving.  I mean in the past two years I haven't seen him that much.  We only hung out maybe five or six times.  But he was always there.  Just a phone call away if I ever had guy trouble.  Or girl trouble.  Or school trouble.  Or just needed to talk.  And now I don't have that.  I mean sure I can still write him.  And he'll likely write back, unlike some people.  And even if he doesn't his family will let my family know what's going on and they'll tell me.  And I don't even like like this kid anymore.  Why is it so hard to see him go?  Why do I care so much?  I just want him here so I can talk to him one last time.  One last time that isn't interupted by various Christmas Eve traditions.  Why?  Why do I feel like I did last time?  I've been through this before, I know how to deal with it.  But why is it so hard?  Why does he have to be a good young man and leave on a mission?  Not that I want or would accept anything less from him.  But still.  So I guess this is goodbye Mish.  And I know you will never read this, but I'm glad you are going, I really am.  But I'll miss you. I'll call you in two years.

I'm not scandalous

I was informed today that I might scare a missionary.  Not a missionary in general, but a certain missionary whom I have never met.   Now just to clarify I apparently would scare this young man because of my dirtyness, crudeness, or just lack of innocence.  I would like you all to know that I'm perfectly innocent.  I blush at everything, and giggle out of nervousness.  And maybe I make a joke here or there.  But I'm not a dirty uncomfortable person.  I'm just very comfortable in my current surroundings.  Which may or may not be conducive to conversations that would lead someone to think that I would scare this particular missionary.  I promise that I know how to behave myself and am not be scandalous.  Just look at everything you knew about me before you visited my apartment.  I am still quite innocent, honest.   Mish and Silver still make me blush and giggle at awkward subjects.  Actually pretty much anyone can make me do that.  And there are subjects that I try to avoid.  Just because I have something to say on a subject doesn't mean I don't want to avoid it.

Another tag

Ok, first off sorry to miss M&M, I'm feeling lazy today and don't feel like linking to anything.

So on to the 7 things about me.

1) I've only failed one class in my entire life.  I failed social dance.
2) I'm not the quietest girl around.  In fact if you've ever hung out with me you will probably recognized me at a later date due to my unforgetableness.

3) I've never been asked out on a date. I've been on a few dates, but always I did the asking.  One date the guy claims to have asked, but he didn't. He asked why I hadn't asked anyone to see the play with me and I asked him if he wanted to come with me to the next one. 
4) I have been hit on by complete strangers before.  And every single one of them had the same first initial as me.
5) I play a lot of online games, and get bored pretty easily, so if you know of any good ones let me know.
6) I have the ability to laugh and cry at the same time.  Not one and then the other a second later, but actually at the same time. It is a great gift when I don't want people to know I'm crying.  But sometimes I really want someone to notice and care enough to say something.  But not really my roommates, because they probably already know.
7) I collect movies.  Mostly VHS tapes from DI.  I currently own 141 movies on either DVD or VHS.

Sleep

So I haven't gotten a lot of sleep this week. So I'm going to bed early and hoping that no one wakes me up, but if they do they better be doing something fun.  Because I'm also bored.
See you all in the morning,  or around ten pm, depending on when I wake up.

Irreparable Mistakes

So I made one today.  Yes I, Unit Of Energy (insert my real full name in place of unit of energy) have made the first irreparable mistake of my life that I can remember today.  Ok, so it's really not that bad, but that doesn't change the fact that I can't fix it.  As some of you may know, and others are just finding out, I'm assistant set designer on one of the productions this season.  And with this responsibility I need to put in hours helping to manufacture the set.  My job was simple enough.  Hem the curtain.  Measure the curtain to the right height and cut and hem.  And I measured and measured and drew a straight line and thought about measuring again and decided not to and cut.  And cut six inches more than I should have.  And I got so stressed out because once you cut there is no clean way to reattach.  And the stupid thing needs to be done by  tomorrow.  And I started crying and then felt stupid for crying which then made me cry even more and sheesh that made feel even more stupid etcetera etcetera etcetera.  I hate it when I get stuck in such a rut.  But oh well, I'm sure we'll find a way to make it work, even if it ends up being six inches shorter than the final plan, which was six inches taller that the original plan.

Drama

So I'm a theater major.  I should be used to drama.  Especially drama that doesn't directly affect my life.  And yet I feel like I'm involved in far too much drama.  Online drama and real life drama and fictional drama and me drama.  But the online drama really isn't mine to tell, except that I feel like I'm somehow caught in the middle, even though I'm not.  And real life drama is the drama of sisters.  So Thing 1, who once planned on how to take the boy in her primary class to the temple for a forced marriage and at another point planned a wedding between her and a boy twice her age (he was 12), now has about half her seminary class liking her.  And she doesn't know how to deal with it.  She thinks it's weird and wishes they would stop.  Not that she actually asks my advice, especially since I have no experience in the department of having too many guys liking me.  Yeah Falsetto and Mish are out of the picture, and I doubt either of them harbor any feelings they once had for me.  And to be quite honest I don't have the same feelings for them either.  Which is why I think that I should stop writing about them.  But I probably won't.  I was asked tonight why I talk about them so often if we never even dated.  Here's why, Mish was my best friend in high school.  And he's my only friend left back home that is remotely close to my age.  His younger siblings are also good friends of mine.  And as for Falsetto, he's the closest I've ever come to dating someone.  And he doesn't even write me.  I haven't heard from since I woke him up at ten in the morning one saturday a year and a half ago.  But I'm scared to let go of them.  I don't like to lose friends and I've already lost too many.  Silver and I never even speak anymore.  I tried to hang out with her over the break and ended up talking to kids that are still in the community college and have been since my Junior year.  Of high school.  I'm a Junior in College now.  So yeah that didn't turn out quite as planned.  And I suppose that's part of the reason I feel like I'm caught in the drama.  I have friends on both sides and won't choose, but can't quite be there for both sides. Even though I somewhat understand and support both sides.  Stupid drama.  Why must life be so complicated?

I'm glad I didn't see.

So this blog is called You Should Have Seen.  This is because of a song that you can listen to a clip of to the right and if you want to here the whole song I have it. But anyway, this song was one of my favorites when I was in High School and had a major crush on Genius.  Genius was basically the only LDS kid I knew that was homeschooled other than my family and was the tied for smartest kid  in seminary.  The other person in that position was myself.  Yeah, I'll admit that I was super smart in high school.  I've lost it all now. But the title of this blog is still just as applicable today.  I think I'm falling in like with this kid from work.  I shall call him Curses here, because at work we use this kid's name instead of swearing.  And I'm mentally cursing myself for allowing myself to like any one else right now.  Or ever.  Although I do need to get over Mish and Falsetto.  But anyway Curse's has given me a ride home from work twice this week.  Ok, both times I actually had work this week.  But I kinda sorta liked him before.  But whatever, on to the title of this post.  So tonight, or last night or whatever night it was/is, I had two offers of rides home.  One from a girl I'm pretty good friends with at work and one from Curses.  Well, I accepted the ride from Curses, because a) I wanted to get a ride home with a guy and b) he lives in the complex across the street from mine and the girl lives on the other side of campus from me.  But I'm glad I did, because we ended up leaving about five minutes later that the girl left.  And I apparently missed my roommate's boyfriend of sorts by five minutes.  And I hear tell there was some slightly awkward things going on.  Not inappropriate, but things that I'm glad was not the first thing I saw upon walking into my apartment.  And while I'm happy for her I only have one thing to say.  How'd you get a date?  I think I made need some advice here.  Although not thinking about Mish and Falsetto all the time is probably a good first step.

So Guess What!!!

I write my stories of my life at a college undergrad level.



So Ha!  Although I will admit that this entry will likely take that level down.  Oh well. 

Blogging

So I have something like five blogs.  Although this is the only one that links to my profile.  One is closed because the spam bots decided it was spam.  this was a year ago, and it is still in my list of blogs.  Honestly, either unblock it or delete it I don't really care which.  It's just a stupid story that I've been writing in various forms since my freshman year in high school.  I think it's going to be my novel this year.  Either that or my novel will be from one of the stories I have going on over on my writing blog.  Which I had planned on updating daily, but haven't gotten around to for a week or so.  Although that blog is updated far more than my dream blog.  But honestly I don't have that many dreams that I actually remember when I wake up.  Although nothing can possibly beat the never published entries of my oldest blog.  Which I still have great plans for, but I don't know how to approach it.  It's a name blog, but I'm still trying to figure out what format to use and what I'm going to concentrate on with it.  I mean come on, there are dozens of name websites and blogs out there, what can a single, childless, BYU twenty year old contribute uniquely to these sources? 

Headaches

Well, life has been going fairly well.  I've been getting headaches less often, and less severe, but that doesn't mean I feel like doing anything productive while i have one.  I've been going to bed earlier than I used to.  It's been kind of nice actually.  This  morning I had to force myself to stay in bed until my alarm went off the appropriate number of times.  Because if I don't stay in bed long enough I can't stay awake  for everything I need to for the day.  So yeah, just an update for those of you who care.

HAPPY 2009!!!!

Well, it's a new year.  And I spent it with a headache and finally going to bed at 11:30.  And yes I realise that I often stay up that late any way and half an hour is not that hard to stay up for.  But I wasn't feeling that great.  My nose is still clogged and I woke up with a sore throat, but hey.  That's life and that's a cold for ya. But I did play Settlers with my parents, and watched National Treasure 2 with my family.  It was fun.  And Baby Sis was happy.  It was her first year staying up till midnight.  But with Princess and Brother staying up how could we but Baby Sis to bed?  She just wouldn't have stayed if we had tried.  Never mind I was 12 before I was allowed to stay up.  But honestly, why bother staying up?  Just so you can jump up in one year and come down in the next. Which is a family tradition of ours. But the kids woke me up when they finally came to bed.  I don't think Baby Sis found it all that exciting to stay up.