How to eat with no money

An essay of experience.
By Unit.

1. Every chance you get, have your parents take you to bulk stores, such as Costco. Convince them to pay for your purchases at said time. Buy things such as frozen chicken, granola bars, beef jerky, and instant oatmeal.
2. Steal from your family food storage every trip home. Take things that you will likely never eat until you are starving, like brown rice and raw oats.
3. In times of plenty buy sugars, granulated, powdered, and brown. These will serve you well when you are sick of not having sweets, but can't afford a candy bar.
4. Live near relatives. visit them randomly. They will feed you.
5. Attend all ward and complex activities. Chances are there will be food. December is especially good for this.
6. Get a boyfriend. I hear that they will sometimes feed you. Going on dates will work as well. This step is one that I have yet to accomplish.
7. Don't be picky. Food is food. Candy counts. The booths in the Wilk are great when you are starving.
8. Get a job that feeds you. Not one that gives you a lunch break, but one that will give you food. Although these jobs are few and far between, they are definitely worth it.
9. Have some money for things like bread and milk. These will help a lot in trying food times.
10. Find cheap sources of food. While not free, I have found a relatively decent lunch for under 75 cents in the twilight zone.
11. Learn how to survive on less food than you would prefer. This is doable. You really don't need a lot, you're just used to eating a lot.
12. The best way to eat with no money is to go home until your next paycheck.
Remember, you will get through this. You will have money again. If you're very desperate, you can always post on your blog and hope food comes your way. (but don't try this. Begging is not an acceptable way to get food, unless you don't have a job.)

PS This is not a plea for help. I'm not that desperate yet.