Another round of tears

Why am I such an emotional person?  I never used to be.  Until...crap.  I just realized that my getting randomly emotional started with Mish.  Oh, it didn't always revolve around him, but it started around the time when we started being really good friends.  So anyhow, this new round was brought on by my recieving his mission address.  I don't know why I care.  I'm young, beautiful and make my roomates jealous by dressing cute for no reason.  And I don't date, I sit at home blogging about a guy that I don't even care about like that anyome and cry.  I hate this.  I really need to get out more.  But it's hard.  And I'm poor.  I watch my friends date, get married, go on missions, have kids, and I fell left out.  What am I doing with my life?  Nothing.  Paying bills to go to school to get a degree that won't even pay that well when I'm done.  And I write papers on marriage.  Yes, I have a strange fascination with the subject.  I can relate pretty much any topic back to marriage and write a convincing arguement.  Movies?  The theme I find always involves love or marriage.  Shakespeare? The many marriage practices evident in one or another of the plays.  Art?  She looks sad, her husband must be away. Family Life? How I'm preparing for marriage. I will admit that I have also had many papers with marriage as the assigned topic.  I once had to write a paper on marriage and preparing for marriage based on a chapter in Genesis.  And one semester I had to write three or four papers on marriage in my various classes.  So I learned so much from researching those that I've just carried that knowledge over. But however much I love marriage, there is no one that I have met that I would marry at this moment.  And there was a point in my life that I was going to possibly wait for Mish to come home from his mission before I got married, but I've given up on that.  I've rather given up on ever being asked out too.  I'm going to be a single, poor, lonely set designer for the rest of my life.  I hate this.  And on being a set designer, I'm going to be assistant scenic designer on another production this season.  I hope it turns out all right.