Beauty

So I was leaving the HFAC tonight after seeing Roofsliding and I saw my reflection in the door. My hair is up in the awkward work ponytail from six this morning and my earrings are dangling and my black fuzzy shirt has collected more fuzz than before and I'm wearing light blue jeans and gold and black shoes which completely don't match my silver earrings and the thought struck me. I'm gorgeous. Maybe I should use a little makeup more often. Maybe my glasses need a major cleaning. But that doesn't matter. I'm beautiful. And so of course I had to stop and step back to take a better look at my self. Yes I'm the most gorgeous girl that I know. Okay, so that may be going to far. But it's strange. Every so often when I'm not trying to impress and am subconsciously thinking that I look awful I see my self in a mirror and am reminded how attractive I am. Now if only the guys could see it. Oh well, If I see it often enough they will soon start to see it.

Surviving

I really need to come up with better titles for these posts. Oh well. I was about to go to bed, and I just finished my nightly ritual of a chapter of Jane Austen, a chapter from my suspense novel, a scene from a play, a chapter from the Doctrine and covenants and a chapter from Old Testament when I got the sudden urge to write. And since I'm currently suffering from writers block, homework block, and all sorts of other difficulties with actually writing anything somewhat productive I figured I could come here and just write. Life has been going a lot better. I'm still overwhelmed by the project that I have coming up and all the papers I have to write, but I'm not stressing out about them at all. And I even worked on that paper that has been due since last April. Hopefully they still remember me. Work has been going well for me. I got coupons twice this week, which mean fifteen cent sandwichs next week. Well, two of them, unless i decide to get something else instead. Which I might. You never know. I got into the apartment I wanted spring/summer, so I'll only have to change my address once this year, rather than twice. But I just thought I'd update you all that I'm not failing at life anymore and things are looking up.

homesick

This semester has not been going well at all. It's a strange repeat of my first semester out here. I have too much on my plate, yet not enough at the same time. I don't know whats wrong with me. Sunday I decided to read my scriptures by opening to a random page and reading. It works for other people, why not me. The verse I first read? D&C 29:38 And, behold, there is a place prepared for them from the beginning, which place is hell. Not quite what I wanted to hear, but it made me laugh. Then I reminded myself of the classic trial scritpture, the ones about not being tempted above what you are able to resist, the Lord will prepare a way, and so on. then a friend suggested I may be trying to do to much. I of course quoted scripture to him. He responded with a scripture I had forgotten. "for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength." I love my friends. Now I just have to figure out how to survive the rest of the year doing everything I need to do without killing myself. I'm sure I'll manage somehow. especially since I'm taking the day off today. Today I'm skipping life, well except for that test that I need to take. But that won't take very long.

Failing

So this week has not been going well. Last week didn't either. I don't remember the last time I had a good week. I skipped my favorite class twice this week, so now I'm going to fail it. I can't afford to go to school spring term, but if I don't I'll spend about fifty billion more years in college. I have a bajillion papers to write. I've been oddly emotional lately, and it's lasted more than a month, so it can't be blamed on being a girl. I'm sick of everything, but somehow I still have managed to enjoy life anyway. I just want to talk to someone, ok, what I really want is a hug. A real hug. Not some sideways thing as someone takes out the trash. I want a full, here's my shoulder to cry on, it's going to be okay hug.

Computers

I have decided that computers are the worst thing that have ever happened to me. So Friday night my computer decided to quit working for me. I guess the hard drive was at fault, but whatever. Stupid. So I spent the entire weekend finding things to do without my computer. I went to a birthday party for my uncle's wife's brother's wife's son's daughter. Or in simpler terms my aunt's nephew's daughter. She turned three. We also had a dance party, followed by a pity party, followed by pulling a prank and "arresting" a friend to play volleyball/basketball with us. Then I found time to read a book I've been meaning to for a year now, well I started it anyway. And then I had to walk to desktop distribution and get a new computer. At least it didn't cost me anything and they were able to transfer my files over. And that I have a CPU small enough to carry. It's actually lighter than my backpack. Although that's just because I have 48 books to return to the library. and the rental office is much closer to me than it was when I first started renting computers. But now I'm behind in papers, and have one due tomorrow. Better start writing it.