Working

I don't understand why I have to work. Sure I need food and a place to live and tuition. But isn't there a way to get all that without working? Or stealing, stealing is not a good option either. mostly I'm just bitter that I have to wake up at 5:45 am five days a week. I work at 7 three days, and 8 the other two. But in order to be at my 8 o'clock job on time I still have to leave my apartment at 6:36, and take a bus at 6:43 and another at 7:17. Wow, my cousin is right. I do have too much time on my hands to figure out the exact minute that I need to leave the house. I also know how many minutes it is to walk to campus, walk an infinitely long road to another cousin's house, and how long it takes to walk to my uncle's house. I'm officially insane. Oh well, that's life. At least I enjoy it.

Boys

So I went to the creamery with Lingo today. It's always quite an adventure, me saying random things to her from two aisles down. Of course, that is the extent of the store, so it's not quite as crazy. Or maybe it's more crazy. I'm too tired to think straight right now. Anyhow, Lingo seems to think that creamery guy likes me, or is at least intrigued by me. He's asked about me when I don't come in with Lingo. Then tonight he something about shopping with me being interesting. Lingo almost said he should try living with me, but then didn't. But maybe he does like me. And maybe I'm slightly crazier when he's there because I subconsiously like him. He is kind of cute.

Work

So work has been going well. This week I suddenly went from barely part-time with three jobs to full time and having to cut back hours. Hopefully it lasts. The only bad part is having to to take the bus almost to springville for work. But after working 9 hours today I'm exhausted. I'm about ready to sleep and its not even 8 yet. Don't know that I will, but I want to.

Breakdowns, Blankets and Brownies.

I love brownies, especially the mint brownies with nuts you can get at the creamery and sugar and spice. They make me happy. Especially when I haven't had a good day. And i have no idea why the day wasn't good. I got off work and hour and a half early, after stay a half hour longer than I was needed. And then I came home, and finally started in on the huge pile of dishes we have accumulated. Nurse, Lingo and myself are not the best housekeepers, but these past couple of weeks have been particularly difficult for us to keep the place clean. But I started in on the mess. Any way, I was sitting there watching Charmed and reading some book I got at the library (I finally got a Provo library card, a week after my hometown card expired) because I couldn't deal with the mess any more and don't actually have any obligations this summer. And I had a breakdown. I started crying hysterically. It upset me that I was crying, since I had no reason to be crying. And then I just stopped. Once again for no reason. It lasted about as long as the typical commercial break on TNT, which is significantly longer than the breaks on kjzz. I know, I have time to run to the creamery and pick up a few things when I watch Charmed, but can't even make to the mailbox and back while I'm watching Matlock. Maybe that's why I've been having more breakdowns than normal. My life has no purpose during the summer. The guys don't notice me, and the ones that have are gone. Pharmacy Man went home for the summer (ok, so I noticed him while he noticed someone else, but I did go on two dates with him) Missionary Boy is a thousand miles away and leaving on a mission, and Falsetto is far away in Florida on his mission. So dating seems out of the picture. Getting another job would just be way too stressful, I already have three. Although I'm still only working part-time, not quite sure how that works out. Any how, after that breakdown I had three more today and then I couldn't get my ipod to work (think I solved that problem, at least for now) and then I grabbed the 07-08 school year blanket and ran away, although this just meant going to my secret spot and looking at the sky. And then I went to buy brownies, wrapped awkwardly in my blanket. I'm pretty sure Creamery Guy Found it amusing, especially when the blanket fell off when I paid him. Don't worry, I was decently dressed, the blanket was for security like a baby's blanket. Hmmm, Creamery Guy is the only person I've talked about in this blog that I actually call the name I use when writing about them. I love Creamery Guy, and when Lingo goes to the creamery without me he asks about me. Makes me Happy

Don't be the butter

So I've been trying to get back into the habit of writing. Writing anything at all, letters to Falsetto boy, stupid blog entries, recipes, just writing. Well, anything that is not specifically required by classes. So tonight I started my third forward to a book that was inspired years ago by the many sleepovers I had with my sisters and cousin. The book will be titled The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread: Don't be the Butter. I'm still trying to come up with a format for it. I'm currently thinking that it will be a humorous self help type book. The title comes from a list of rules we compiled to help each other and Elmo specifically get nice young men to ask us out. Of course at the time I was the only one old enough to date, though now all of those involved are of dating age, though I'm still the oldest. One of the rules was not to butter up your date's parents. This was in order to stay yourself, as well as not to offend your date. This rule went on to state that your date's parents should not think you are the best thing since sliced bread. We had other rules as well, our favorite being the golden rule: smell unto others as you would have others smell unto you. This was sung to the Golden Rule song from My Turn on Earth and ended with a pfft. Any way, ever since that particular night I have been working on a book to incorporate the crazy and sound advice that was given that night, as well other rules that I have come up with. Unfortunately I have lost the notebook with my collection of rules in the three moves since then. Although I'm sure I can find it again, I never throw out a notebook. You never know when the things you wrote when you were young will inspire you later. Or make you laugh. And I finally found Falsetto's mission address after moving this last time, so I can write him again. Not that he ever responds.

Relationships

Relationships suck. They really do. and I'm not just talking about the romantically inclined relationships either. Drama and relationships and boys and drama and girls and drama and so on and so forth. They all suck. I'm sick and tired of relationships. This past weekend was crap. My former best friend is ignoring me and turning 19 and I don't get to see him probably ever again. I don't know what to do any more. I have lots of people and friends and roommates I can run to. But some how I can't stand it. I just want to go home. Home. It seems like it's been so long since I was home. How on earth do I plan on getting married when I can't stand to be gone from home for six months. Six months isn't that long, when compared to the lifetime I have ahead of me. but I really just want to go home. But I'll have to just sit back and wait for another six months and hope I can afford to go home for Christmas.